Dear Princess Darby,
I recently found out by accident that my best friend is in love with me, and that the only reason she hangs out with me so much is that she's hoping it will lead to something more.

I have no romantic interest in my friend, but she is the best friend I've ever had and I don't want to lose her friendship. On the other hand, I don't want her "wasting her time" if she's just hanging around because she thinks we'll eventually hook up.

So, should I confront her and tell her I know she loves me, and that I just think of her as a friend? Or, should I just say nothing?

I've done nothing to lead this girl on. Please help.

Confused



Tuesday, April 22, 2003

Dear Confused,

There are so many types and definitions of friendships. How do you know that your friend is actually in "love" with you, and not love you as a friend?

Unless she has actually opened her heart and expressed how she really feels about you, her "love" for you has not been confirmed.

If you truly enjoy her friendship and don't want to lose it, give her a few cues and clues on what level your relationship is.

For instance, let her know that you enjoy your friendship, and why you value her as a friend. See her in more group settings, possibily double dating.

Show her that you are interested in others without hurting her feelings. Ways to do this is by going out with other dates, socializing without her, and shopping together for clothes for your new dates.

Ask her about her dates, what she's looking for in a relationship, and if she has found people she has connected with.

If you think independently about your love life, and keep the romantic connections out of your relationship, you should be able to steer your friendship in the right direction.

Have fun, let her down easily. She'll get the message and not lose face.

Have fun this summer, both of you need some space, and work on nuturing friendships together and independently.

Princess Darby