Dear Princess Darby,

The members in my family are highly competitive.

My sister is married with two children, and my brother just got engaged. I'm the only single sibling.

All eyes are on me. Since I don't have a partner right now, or even plan on having children, it's becomming very stressful.

I'm starting not to enjoy, or even go to family gatherings.

Approaching this situation is hard for me. So, I'm asking you what you think, and any suggestions what I should do.

Running Out of Excuses.



Tuesday, November 4, 2003

Dear Running Out of Excuses,

Excuses? You don't need excuses, you sound well focused to me.

Single sibling? I didn't know there were singles still around-watch out for everyone else in the world looking for a partner. You are a precious commodity.

Seriously,family pressure for marriage and children could make anyone "run for the hills!". But, don't get those running shoes on just yet! This is something most siblings go through-only in varying degrees.

Competition amongst siblings in a healthy environment is natural. Although, there is a fine line when envy and jealousy enter the picture. Although, I don't think this is the case, only you can indentify that scenario.

Meanwhile, if you desire to, share in the celebration of your brother's engagement, possibly have fun with your sister's family. Be comfortable with the position you are in, and with who you are. You know your relationship with your family members, and how much it means to you.


Don't take your family so seriously, nor your parent's dreams of seeing you settled interfere with a future relationship. Give yourself some space, and don't be hard on yourself.

If it gets too rough, take a break from the family routine, and let them know you're not comfortable with the pressure your experiencing. In other words, in a kind way, tell them you'll let them know when you have some news to share with them. ( I changed what I actually suggested to say).

I don't know the dynamics within your family. Although, if this is really seriously bothering you, I would suggest that you discuss this with a counselor. Be kind to yourself. And, seek support of those who love you. The only race you should be running is the path you chose, and at the speed that meets your needs.

Princess Darby