Dear Darby,

I am in love!!! I should be happy right? Wrong. I am so depressed. The person I love is with someone else:( I don't think she loves her new girlfriend, I know we still have feelings for each other. We were together for only a couple months but I just feel head over heels in love. What can I do to get my love to leave her girlfriend and pick up were we left off???

Crazy In Love



Monday, December 13, 2004

Dear Crazy In Love,

Past love have a new girlfriend, and now you're pinning for her in the shadows of your past relationship? It's a pity how we miss someone or something when one is gone, or missing from our lives.

Rewind and playback the reasons why, and when your relationship went sour, and perhaps drifted apart. It takes one to walk away, and it's usually for good reasons...at least for one person.

You suspect she doesn't love her new girlfriend. Unless you have actually discussed this with her, how do you know? How do you know you both have mutual feelings that still linger?

Why would she discuss this wih you and betray her partnership? Why would you both end a healthy ongoing commitment if you still loved each other? Do you think two months was enought time for two people to have cemented a strong bond, or introduce you both to who you both are?

If you have been reading my column, you would recognize that I don't share advice on how to end other's relationships to gain another's affection. I blieve in strong commitments in friendship and family values in all relationships.

Although, I strongly believe in reconciliation and "second chances", only when there is true commitment and no one is hurt. As to the dream of pickup up "where you left off", it's impossible at times. There will always be a residue of the history of the relationship. Thomas Wolfe once wrote something to the effect,"you can never go home".

Remember it's the holidays. Spend time with your friends and family. Think about this clearly not only with deep emotion, but with your mind. Be easy on yourself, your past love, and rememember the third person who is probably oblivious to this.

Go forward, write a new script. Love and life is not like a rerun of a movie when you know the ending. Rewrite your script.

Be safe, be happy, and remember the beauty and wonder of the holidays in our hearts.

Princess Darby