Dearest Darby,

I'm gay. How do I get the man I love to love me?



August 6, 2002


Dear Wanting Love,

This is question has been asked for centuries. Each situation is as unique and complicated as one’s DNA. But-there is always a game plan.

First of all, the person you love, are you already into a relationship with him? Does he love you less, or not at all? Secondly, is this someone you love from afar? Thirdly, is this someone you love a current friend or associate?

The first situation would need a quick turnaround of the person you seek love from. It’s never to late to salvage and breath fresh air into a stale relationship. The second and third situations require knowledge of his interests, characteristics, habits, activities, and general taste to trigger a connection.

Usually, one likes a person who is a reflection of themselves. Both people have to start “to be in like”, before they are “in love”. A good beginning would be to get into his head. How does he think? What attracts him to others?

General characteristics which attract us to others are: self-respect, inner strength, humor, flexibility, kindness, little good looks, with a dash of sexiness, and a couple pinches of wildness and mystery.

This recipe mixes into a good relationship, mutual respect, understanding, and in time, it generally brews into love.

Once the connection is made and you spend quality time together, the rest will follow. But, remember you can’t make someone want you. Love is an intangible object. We’re lucky if we truly love or be loved once in our lifetime. Remember, there’s a soul mate for everyone, it just takes time to find them.

Please let me know how this works out for you.

Princess Darby