Dear Princess Darby,

I'm having family problems. My mom is about to get a divorce with my stepdad. And I am getting fed up with her dragging me around to places with her, but I don't want to live with my biological dad either. My father and I don't connect as well as my mom and I.

I love my mom a lot but, she is making things really complicated for me. What should I do? I am lost and depressed and really stressed out.

I don't know what to do? I want to do something, but it's none of my business, and she is my mom and i love her a lot. What do I do?

Signed,

"FED UP WITH MOM"



Dear Fed Up,

Saying good bye is never easy. Whether it's to friends, a place, or a marriage, it's always difficult. Separation and divorce is saying goodbye.

Win or lose, it's a difficult choice to make. Some people think it as failure. I believe it is making a choice to change a situation that didn't work out to a better one. Sometimes it's best to move on than to stay in an unhappy relaltionship.

Divorce has a trickle effect. This is where innocent loved ones, friends and family are affected. Separation and divorce is not only a traumatic passage for parents, but also for those they care for.

No matter what the situation is, your mom just like you is probably going through a tough patch of time right now. There are so many things that may be going through her mind. The division of property, finances, support, guilt, pressure, and how this will affect her daughter are just a few.

This may be a good time for you to have a mon and daughter heart to heart talk. Select a good quiet time for this discussion. Ask her how she is, what's she's going through, and what the plans are for the family. You two are family. Share your feelings with her, and let her know you support her.

In regards to your father and stepfather, what is your relationship with them? What do you want them to be? And, if there are any problems with them, let your mom know, don't keep her in the dark.

I am not a divorce counselor, or a therapist. I suggest you speak with an advisor in school, a mentor, doctor, or family member, or best friend that you can confide in. It's always best to have a professional and personal "listener" for guidance. Things look clearer when you talk about them.

You are not alone. And, like all challenges in life, this will pass. Remember, you are at the beginning of your life, and your mother is in the middle of hers. Learn from this, and you may use the strength, patience, and love from this situation in the future.

Be happy and hang in there!

Princess Darby