My partner and I are interested in getting "married" in the eyes of our friends and family, but we aren't quite sure how to get started planning a gay commitment ceremony. Are there any resources that would be of assistance to us?



Dear Commtited,

You have come to the right person! While reading your question, I invisioned colors, heard music, and tasted the white chocolate mouse cake!

Whether you plan anintimate affair, or a large gathering, exchanging vows with your partner is a celebration in itself!

There are many books to guide you on planning weddings. Also, the Alternative Phonebook lists categories of businesses to service you. There is one simple rule, "keep it simple". There are about 21 elements to prepare for a wedding-then multiply it by 100 depending on the advice you receive from others or your own ideas!

Think about the following elements for planning your event. This will give you some ground work of ideas to play around with. This is an exciting moment in your lives. Enjoy the time and event. Although, don't get overwhelmed, and remember big is never better.

Elements to preparing for a wedding:
1. date
2. type (formal/informal)
3. where
4. performed by (commitment ceremonies, Alt. Phonebook)
5. guest list
6. gift registry (I always suggest registering)
7. budget
8. outline of event and time frame
9. honeymoon
10. catering
11. flowers
12. photographer
13. invitations
14. bridal party (friends standing up for you)
15. rehersal dinner (precelebration)
16. showers (goes with registering-lots of goodies)
17. colors (party or event theme)
18. music (live or recoreded)
19. transportaion
20. clothing (dress casual or dressy)
21. rings (symbolic of union,your decision on type/style

Other areas to consider: counseling of attorneys for estate planning, living wills, review of legal documents, chattel, leases, etc. Counseling for partner relationships, growth, rsponsibilities and couples expectations.

Both of you should plan this together. Half of the fun is preplanning. One partner culd take on the business side of the event such as budget, financial planning, and the other partner culd take on the creative side of the event; music, cake, flowers,and photography.

Together, you could plan the location, type of ceremony. An intimate ceremony at a small bed and breakfast would be lovely, a picnic on the lake, a romantic gathering in your living room, or at the suite of the Marriott Courtyard in with a staircase and fireplace.

After the ceremonly I picture an intimate catered buffet, photos with friends, a toast to the couple-then off you go!

Don't be overwhelmed. It's really not that hard to plan the wedding. It's the actual preparation that you'll need assistance with. Select a few friends who really love you to help. Designate and enjoy. But, do not take anyone's advice seriously. Have a good time, and don't forget to invite me! I'd be honored to celebrate your special day.

One suggestion. Seeing a counselor to air out any "old business" or future challenges is very important. Discuss financial issues, and expectations of each other. This is the opportunity to start fresh. Enjoy.

Princess Darby