Dear Princess Darby,

I met someone through a lesbian message board, who happens to live on the other side of the world.

There is a ten year gap between us, her being the older one.

We have developed an e mail pen pal type of relationship.

We have talked about people who have met online and we are in love.

I was wondering if something like that is possible? And, how realistic are the two people involved are being?

How do you fall in love with e-mail alone? Is it ture that sometimes you can hear the person talking through the words? Or is it your imagination? How would you know if it's the real thing?

Thanks so much for taking the time,

Wondering.



Dear Wondering,

It's difficult initiating, managing, and maintaining a relationship in life in the same city, or across the country, not to mention through emails across the world.

I think you know the answer to your question. Rethink the key words you used. Realistic, imagination, real.

It would facilitate your relationship if you had initially met and spent time together. We need to learn about our partners. Just like a first date, everyone is on their best behavior. Through emails we can mask our bad traits and demenor and disguise ourselves. We can take part and write our own script and be whoever we want to be.

The wanting we feel allows us to hear what we want to hear. We want to be in love. We want to experience the chase and the capture. We need to have arguments then kiss and cry. This can be achieved through physical interaction, not through emails.

The final issue of age is always a factor. Do you feel the difference between 21 and 31 is a healthy span of years? Is it possible 25 and 35 would work? Do you think the difference between 30 and 40 is healthy? There are too many variables like experience, maturity, personal goals, and culture that's involved.

You decide. I only layout questions to challenge you so you think it out and make your own decision. Write your own script and take the lead with your head not your heart in this one.

Be smart, be safe, and make sure everyone involved is healthy and of legal age! Good luck luck and keep me posted,

Princess Darby