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Paperback
Publisher: Alyson Books
Openly gay therapist Joe Kort provides 10 powerful and positive steps gay men can take to isolate and overcome self-defeating behavior patterns, and move in healthier and more rewarding directions: Take Charge of Their Own Lives
Affirm Themselves by Coming Out
Resolve Differences With Parents and Relatives
"Graduate" From Delayed Adolescence
Avoid-or Overcome-Sexual Addiction
-Learn from Successful Mentors Who've Been There, Done That
Take Advantage of "Therapy Workouts"
Achieve-and Maintain-Rewarding Relationships
Understand the Stages of Loves
Commit to Their Partner These solid and reliable "Top 10" life steps that have been most helpful to Joe Kort's clients in his 16 years of working with hundreds of gay men, are presented in an engaging and easy-to-understand manner and are supplemented by case histories from his practice. These are time-tested, practical decisions gay men can make in their search for emotional, sexual and personal fulfillment. Joe Kort, MA, MSW, ACSW, is a psychotherapist in private practice in Detroit. In addition, he is certified as an Imago therapist and leads two biannual workshop retreats, For Gay Men: The Retreat of a Lifetime, which helps gay men recover from being a stigmatized population, and Getting the Love You Want Couples' Weekend, which helps couples communicate more effectively. He is a member of the National Association of Social Workers, the Institute for Imago Relationship Therapy and the National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity. His writings on gay and lesbian issues appear regularly in Between the Lines newspaper and the Detroit Free Press.
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| Amazing Book ANY Gay Man Can Benefit From |
| Customer Rating: 5 out of 5 |
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Despite what others on here have written in reviews on here I found this book to be amazingly helpful. I am 40 years old and the section on coming out may have benefited me more when I was younger but I still was able to learn from each chapter in the book.
It has helped me to better understand myself and my interactions with others. Also, as much as I hate to admit it this book also helped me realize my own internalized homophobia and heterosexism.
This has also helped me in my relationships with friends and others. I now can now understand how things in my past "shadows" creep in to current events. Realizing them and dealing with them in a different way has been very beneficial to me and the man I am dating.
Having made mistakes in the past I am on a path to learning to being "A better man capable of living a better life and making emotionally healthy choices".
I have purchased this book for friends and recommended it and "10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Find Real Love" to dozens of people.
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| Insightful and filled with hope |
| Customer Rating: 5 out of 5 |
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I found this a great read. I am starting to put it into practice. Coming out to everyone, making gay friends, and searching for Mr. Right.
This is a must read.
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| Personal Transformation |
| Customer Rating: 5 out of 5 |
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Any married, bi, gay male will unlock a better understanding as to how our past can and will affect our current behavior. Although, Mr. Kort could have added more descriptive examples of the hardships gay men face and how we all can overcame them. I'm speaking as an international spokesman for the gay and straight community specializing in support for "the other man," caught in a triangular moral dilemma, being involved with a married man.
The married gay men that attend my confidential AOL support group could use the hope and encouragement that Mr. Kort offers.
Dennis Schleicher
Author of an explosive and controversial memoir;
Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries
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| Extremely useful |
| Customer Rating: 5 out of 5 |
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Any gay guy looking to enrich his life and relationships, and better understand how the past can affect present behavior, will benefit from this book. Written in a down to earth style, Kort manages to be informative without being preachy, and it's clear that he cares deeply about men who care about other men.
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| Psychodynamic approaches dead? |
| Customer Rating: 3 out of 5 |
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I read this book a while ago and it inspired me to read some of Harville Hendrix' books. What struck me as oddly salient, though, about Joe Kort's book is the large number of people who seem to drop out of therapy with him and go on and self-destruct. Wouldn't that make one look at his approach skeptically? Could it be that the careful investigation of one's relationship with one's parents and its effects on later life is a psychological dead-end? That's both Kort's and Hendrix' approach. Kort's own book, if read critically, would suggest that maybe it is not helpful.
This is not to say that I didn't get some interesting insights from Ten Smart Things. It's intriguing to think that your partner's complaints about you represent what you most need to attend to, and that you got into the relationship to address them in the first place. It's a useful thought because it reinforces commitment.
However, psychology has taken a decidedly cognitive turn as of late. Pondering deep drives seems less useful now than attending to thinking. Perhaps more lives could be improved by reading Beck, Tannen, Seligman, Ellis, and Csikszentmihalyi than this volume. Of course, none of those authors looks as cute as Joe Kort. . .
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